Going After Her
by mustikas
Summary: Tonks&Lupin! Set after the hospital scene in the end of book 6, but before the funeral. It's my alter version on how Tonks and Lupin sorted their love and how Lupin ran after her to admit what he had realised.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _This was my first fiction ever. It takes place after the hospital wing scene in book #6, where Tonks and Lupin argue over why he isn't the right for him. It is said that before the funeral, they were happy and holding hands, but it wasn't written, how they worked it out. _

_Here is my suggested alter version :)_

**Disclaimer:** _All characters belong to their creator, J. K. Rowling. I look up to her for being so creative._

_Have fun reading and please give comments :) _

_Thank you. Happy New Year to everyone!_

After Harry had left the hospital wing with professor McGonagall and Hagrid, the people around Bill's bed started facing each other with grave fear and confusion. What were they going to do next? How was the school going to survive, now that Dumbledore had passed away?

Lupin was still arguing with Tonks. He wanted Nymphadora to understand that he couldn't possibly be with her, she didn't know what it was like, to hang around a werewolf and to be despised by the community. But Tonks didn't stop, she kept on saying that she didn't care, that she was like Fleur, to whom the scars on her fionceé didn't matter. After ten times of repeating his main argument – too old, too poor, too dangerous – it grew over him.

He had had enough, so, almost yelling at Tonks, with leaps going on in his heart, he made sure she would get it this time: „Will you stop it already? I've been to this over and over and over and I wish you would drop it. I can't be with you and frankly, I don't wish to, either. I've had enough, you are weak and not wise to understand when to let something go. I bet your silly little crush will be done in a week and then you probably won't even remember why you liked me in the first place. Understand now, Nymphadora Tonks, I'm _**done**_!"

With shocked faces turned to Lupin, he instantly regretted what he had just said. He looked at Tonks, whose face looked as if there was no blood behind it, she was as pale as snow. Her eyes widened with every second she had to think about what she'd just heard. She felt the tears forming behind her eyes but she didn't want to cry in front of everyone, especially when Lupin had just called her „weak".

Molly Weasley stepped behind Tonks and patted her on the back, saying „it's okay, dear. You can go if you want to." And she did, she turned around, without any expression reckonable on her face, and she walked out of the hospital wing, with everyone's eyes on her. As Tonks had left, the eyes found another sight to inspect. Lupin looked at Molly Weasley, who started speaking.

„Remus, you took a wrong step here." Mrs. Weasley felt the utter sympathy for Tonks as she had almost been like a second mother to her during the last year. She knew that Tonks's love wasn't „just a silly little crush that would end in a week". Tonks had been sorrowing for almost a year now, after Lupin pushed her affection back for the first time.

„No, it was the right one, it was for her own good," replied Lupin, more or less for self-defence, since everybody looked accusing.

„Well, she didn't seem to think that," came from Bill. Lupin looked at him in surprise. Even Bill took Tonks's side and he still didn't know how it was like, to live as a werewolf, to be distinguished in a bad light. Bill, however, continued, „you really hurt her."

„N-no, I said, it was for her own good, she'd be over me in a week and she'd regret it later," said Lupin, feeling he needed to adjust himself.

„No she wouldn't, Remus. Tonks has been in love with you for a year, even more. At first it was a secret, till she told me that you had pushed back her affection last summer. That's why she's been so grey, her own emotions were a mess!"

Lupin felt bad, but he still continued, „Molly, it's not that. She doesn't understand that I'm too old, too poor, too dangerous for her."

„Of course she understands, didn't you hear what Tonks said, it doesn't matter to her, she wants to be with you, despite the facts the whole house heard you throw at her, she knows them and accepts them!" Lupin was unable to speak. Suddenly he really realised, for the first time, how big of a mistake he had made. He had just shouted at the one person, the first and probably the last person in his life, who loved him for who he really was. Tonks was the person, who accepted his problem, it didn't matter to her. And Lupin….he had just yelled at her for being stupid and weak.

Suddenly Bill started coughing and everyone turned to him, which gave Lupin the opportunity to walk out of the hospital wing.


	2. Chapter 2

Tonks walked down the hallway, feeling incredibly numb, the only feeling she had, was that terrible aching pain in her heart. She was still in a shock, her eyes were wide and they were beginning to feel really wet. She had never really been a person to cry a lot but she'd never felt this way. Some words were still ringing in her ears, „Weak; I don't wish to be with you; I'm done!" A lonely tear rolled down her face and in a second, it was followed by another one.

The children in the hallway, who had dared to come out now, looked at her and figured she was crying because of the events that had shaken the school. They didn't know the real reason and Tonks didn't plan on sharing her emotions, not with the kids, not with the people in the hospital wing, not with anyone.

She wandered in the school for a while, not knowing where she was heading or even what she was doing. She passed numerous children and even some teachers, who were wearing black robes, all of them figured the same reason for her tears. The portraits were either filled with people or were completely empty. The painted people didn't want to be alone, they wanted company during this sad time. But Tonks, she was going to be alone, she'd been rejected.

As she wandered on the sixth floor, near the quarters of Gryffindor, she heard someone whisper her name behind her. „Tonks". As she tried to turn around quickly, she, as she always would, tripped and fell straight into Lupin's arms. For a moment, she felt a warm flash go through her heart, but she instantly remembered what the man had said, no wait, shouted to her. As her face turned white again, she hurried on her feet and took a step back, with her eyes widened in the fear of another yell at her.

But Lupin looked down at the floor, as he mumbled, „Tonks, I...I…wanted to…" Tonks looked at him, with her wide eyes blinking like crazy. But before Lupin could finish the sentence, he found himself lacking words. He had never felt this way for anyone, he didn't know what to do or what to say, so he wouldn't hurt the person in front of him. „I just wanted to…see if you were okay." He raised his eyes to see Tonks, who was still pale and whose face had teardrops on it. He put his hand to her cheek to wipe off her tears. „Don't cry because of me. I was really mean to you, I am so sorry, Nymphadora. I shouldn't have said those things."

„It's Tonks," she whispered as she was barely unable to talk.

Looking at her face made Lupin remember the last words of Molly Weasley and his own thoughts after them. His hand was still on Tonks's wet cheek and he placed his other hand on her second cheek. With cupping her heart-shaped face, he pulled Tonks against him and pressed his lips against hers. Her eyes blinked wildly as she tried to understand what was going on. The next moment Lupin pulled himself off, with his eyes wide, as he murmured, „I-I'm sorry."

Tonks just stood there, not knowing what to think or say. At last, she mumbled, „what was that about? I thought you hated me!"

„No, I don't hate you. I shouldn't have shouted at you. But…I thought…that we should share one kiss, before you walk out of my life. Take it as an apology for what I did."

„Walk out? So you really did mean everything you shouted, every last word!" Tonks's face looked bloodless.

„Ye..- no. I said some things without thinking. And Molly Weasley explained a lot to me. Tonks, you're the only woman in my life who has loved me for who I am… I can't put you through this." Lupin shivered. It was time to let go.

But Tonks misunderstood those words, she thought she was unimportant, he didn't need her. So she decided she would have her last words, before doing what he really wanted her to do. „Remus, I am willing to put my life on the line for you. I did tonight. It has never mattered to me, your problem, never. But I always had that hope inside me, that you would accept me, not loneliness, nor someone else. I really do love you, but if your biggest wish is for me to walk away, then I promise I will do, what makes you happy." As Tonks turned around and started walking down the hallway, Lupin noticed how her hair turned a tone greyer.


	3. Chapter 3

And suddenly he realised, it wouldn't be the life _with_ him, it was the life _without_ him, that made Tonks unhappy. She was the only one for him, and he just let her turn in grieve, he was going to let her be sad and he couldn't stand it. Suddenly he realised how he missed that bubblegum pink hair and her smile and that the smile hoped for him to run after her. And he did.

Suddenly, Tonks's wrist was grabbed. She was pushed gently against the wall and she felt someone's lips on hers. She had closed her eyes and she didn't even have to open them, that feeling inside her heart, she'd only felt it to one person. Remus Lupin.

Lupin pulled away and Tonks opened her eyes to see the man looking down. But he raised his eyes to look into hers, so he could truly admit, „I was wrong, Tonks, I said the wrong things and I regret them. There is nothing I would rather wish than to be with you and make you happy. I…I'm in love with you. But after what I've said…are you still willing to accept me?"

Tonks felt her heart leap as she was quite speechless. She thought he hated her and now here he was, asking for her to accept him, the man she'd love for ages. Instead of thinking an answer, she pulled Lupin against her and kissed him. It wasn't long till they opened their mouths to give a passionate kiss and neither of them had felt that way before. Tonks felt her face grinning but she just pulled him closer. As soon as they were gasping for air, Lupin noticed the bubblegum pink colour he'd grown to miss. He grabbed her wrist once again and pulled Tonks near a window so she could see her reflection. She smiled, as she saw her favourite colour again and she knew it was there because after a long while, she was amazingly happy again.

The two wandered in hallways and stopped for passionate kisses for hours, till it was morning again and despite their emotions, they had to go the funeral of Dumbledore. As soon as Molly Weasley saw Tonks's hair again, she gave a wide smile to the both of them and waved to them to join the coversation about the new location for the Order, knowing as Grimmauld Place would be vulnerable for Death Eaters after Snape had gone completly on their side. Lupin and Tonks did join, with him holding her hand, as other people, including Harry, started to fill the area.


End file.
